Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, Benching & Co.: The Modern "Dating World" of Investor Relations
Dear fellow IROs, Let’s be honest — investor relations can sometimes feel a lot like modern dating. You put in the time, effort, and energy to build relationships, nurture connections, and keep things moving forward… and then, crickets. Or worse, you’re left deciphering mixed signals that leave you wondering, "Did I say something wrong?"
But here's the thing — just like in dating, these relationship challenges come with their own language. And believe it or not, many of the same terms from dating apply perfectly to the world of investor relations. So, let’s have a little fun while learning how to navigate these oh-so-familiar situations.
🚫 1. Ghosting “They were so interested... and then poof — they’re gone.”
What it means in IR: Ghosting is when an investor or analyst suddenly disappears without explanation. You’ve done all the work — prepared for that big quarterly earnings call, answered every question, scheduled follow-up meetings — and then, silence. No feedback, no follow-ups, not even a polite "thanks for your time."
How to handle it: Don’t take it personally. Investors have a lot on their plates, and sometimes, radio silence has more to do with their internal priorities than with you. If possible, send a quick, friendly check-in message. If they still don’t respond, it’s time to move on and focus on more engaged investors.
🍞 2. Breadcrumbing “They’re keeping me interested, but never fully commit.”
What it means in IR: You’re dealing with an investor or analyst who shows interest but never fully engages. They ask for materials, request a meeting, reschedule it multiple times, and when the meeting finally happens… it’s all fluff. No meaningful questions, no clear agenda, just vague interest that never goes anywhere.
How to handle it: Don’t let them drain your energy. Focus your efforts on investors who are ready to commit to serious engagement. If breadcrumbing becomes a pattern, address it directly. Politely ask what they need from you to make the relationship more productive. If they continue to "breadcrumb," deprioritize them.
🏋️♀️ 3. Benching “I’m on standby… but I never know when I’ll be called in.”
What it means in IR: You’re on the investor’s radar, but you’re not their priority. They may respond to your emails, acknowledge your updates, but they’re not making any moves to deepen the relationship. You’re there — waiting on the bench — but never quite getting called into the game.
How to handle it: If the investor has real potential, stay in touch by sending updates on milestones, press releases, or big wins. Position yourself as "always ready to play." But if it feels like you’re investing too much energy with no progress, it’s okay to take a step back. Focus on the investors who show up for you.
💥 4. Love Bombing “They’re obsessed with me… until they’re not.”
What it means in IR: Love bombing in IR happens when an investor comes in hot. They flood you with attention, endless questions, and multiple meeting requests. You’re thinking, "Wow, this is THE investor!"... and then suddenly, their interest fizzles. No more emails. No more urgency. You’re left confused and wondering, "What happened?"
How to handle it: This one’s tricky because love bombing can feel like genuine interest. When it happens, keep your enthusiasm in check. Stay professional, pace the interactions, and avoid overcommitting your time until you see consistent engagement. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
🎭 5. Catfishing “They aren’t who they say they are.”
What it means in IR: While it’s less common in IR, catfishing does happen. This could be an “investor” misrepresenting their AUM (Assets Under Management) or a small firm posing as a major fund to extract confidential information. They may exaggerate their role, influence, or intent, just to get access to your insights.
How to handle it: Do your homework. Before engaging deeply with any new investors, verify their credentials. Look at their firm, review their track record, and check if they’ve invested in other companies like yours. Don’t reveal sensitive information without a formal NDA, and trust your instincts if something feels off.
❄️ 6. Cuffing Season “When the market gets cold, everyone starts looking for a safe bet.”
What it means in IR: During market volatility or economic downturns, investors suddenly start paying attention to companies that project stability. This "cuffing season" can trigger an influx of inquiries and requests for meetings, as investors look for a "safe haven" for their capital.
How to handle it: This is prime time to be visible. Use the momentum to showcase your company’s stability, resilience, and long-term potential. Highlight any ESG initiatives, share sustainability progress, and showcase a strong balance sheet. Be proactive, not reactive, and seize the moment to build lasting investor relationships.
🌀 7. Situationships “We talk, we share, but I’m not sure what we are…”
What it means in IR: You have relationships with some investors that lack clear boundaries. They give feedback, offer insights, and maybe even attend calls — but they never actually invest. It’s useful, but it leaves you wondering, "Are we just friends? Are we something more?"
How to handle it: Situationships can still be valuable. If an analyst or investor offers useful insights, nurture the relationship — just don't expect too much. If you need clarity, ask them directly: “Do you see potential for investment, or is this primarily an information exchange?” If it’s the latter, be strategic about how much time you invest.
🤝 8. The Friend Zone “We’re close, but they don’t see me as a real investment opportunity.”
What it means in IR: You have a friendly, professional relationship with an analyst or investor. You have great conversations, they love your insights, but they never engage on a deeper level. They see you as a thought leader, not an investment opportunity.
How to handle it: Being in the "friend zone" isn’t always bad — this relationship could pay off in the long run. Analysts who appreciate you will often mention your company in research notes, even if they don't invest directly. Stay engaged, but if you want to change the relationship dynamic, ask directly: “Are you open to discussing an investment opportunity?”
Navigating the “Dating” Scene of Investor Relations Just like dating, building relationships in investor relations requires patience, clear communication, and sometimes, a bit of tough love. Here’s how to navigate it all:
💬 Communicate Clearly: Be upfront about your goals, timelines, and the value your company offers.
👂 Listen More, Talk Less: Focus on what investors need rather than pushing your agenda.
📈 Show Value First: Provide data, case studies, or insights that show you’re worth the investment.
🤝 Build Trust: Trust takes time. Be transparent, honest, and reliable in every interaction.
🚫 Set Boundaries: If an investor isn’t respecting your time, it's okay to walk away.
🌱 Focus on Growth, Not Quantity: It’s better to have five strong investor relationships than 50 weak ones.
🚩 Spot the Red Flags: If someone’s giving you mixed signals, breadcrumbing, or ghosting, move on. Your time is valuable.
The Bottom Line Sure, comparing investor relations to dating might seem lighthearted, but the parallels are real. Building relationships with investors takes emotional intelligence, persistence, and strategy. Just like in dating, you’ll encounter players, ghosters, and love bombers — but you’ll also find strong, loyal partnerships.
The key is to know your worth, set clear expectations, and walk away from relationships that drain your energy. If you do, you’ll build lasting, mutually beneficial connections that stand the test of time (and market volatility).
So, the next time an investor ghosts you or keeps you on the bench, remember: it’s not you, it’s them. Keep moving forward. There are always better opportunities ahead.
👊 Stay strong, IR pros. Your value is undeniable.
Actually I wonder, have you ever encountered any of these situations in your relationship building process? How have you dealt with it? Let me know!
Muge,
Your fellow IR Enthusiast
Yücel, currently Director of Investor Relations and Sustainability at Galata Wind Enerji (GWIND.IS), initially began her investor relations career in 2008 at Dogus Otomotiv (DOAS.IS). She promotes proactive strategies utilizing digital technology and AI, and she specializes in shareholder targeting. Galata Wind , traded on the Istanbul Stock Exchange, operates wind and solar farms in Turkey, and plans further expansion into Europe, reaching a capacity of over 1000 MW by 2030.
Yücel has recently published "The Investor Relations Playbook - Achieving Sustainable Success", a hands-on guidebook on investor relations operations with templates, checklists and how-to guides. The book is available in print in Turkish and in digital form in English.